Next

She is a tiny little thing was my fleeting thought the first time I met Shelby. I was distracted that day in February last year. A dear friend of mine had just lost her daughter and I had just came from visiting her that morning. My heart - still aching from losing our sweet David -was completely broken that morning. I will never understand the death of the young. It's not the same as losing someone who had lived their life, it's the unfairness of all things that haunted me. What could have been.

Justin wanted us to meet this girl he had met at college in their Christian youth group Flood. You will like her Mom, says my son who likes to tell me how I will feel about things. But I can't complain I'd been doing the same thing to him all his life. "You are ok, quit your whining."

Justin had a bad breakup the summer before and this was the first girl in seven months he was interested in so I was looking forward to meeting her and hoping that she would be the last one I would have to meet.  I wasn't in a rush for him to get married but I was tired of meeting girls and really liking them and then they would break up. Do any of you other mothers feel this way?

So after that morning Shelby came over quite a bit and I got to know her well. I would call her "Shel-bee!" And she would look at me, Julia Roberts, Steel Magnolias. She had never seen the movie. Seriously Shelby! I bet your mother named you after that movie. She didn't think so and Justin never wanted to watch the movie. One day though.

Shelby and Justin are perfect for one another. They are ying and yang. She can hold her own against his very opinionated dabatey (is that a word- because if it isn't it needs to be- describes Justin to a tee) self. Justin said to me once "I'm like my dad." I had to burst his bubble because that is the one child I have that is just like me- loud and bossy. Likes to argue - likes to have his own way. Not the best traits I have, but he is also outgoing and unafraid of trying anything new, also like me.


AFter they had been dating a year Justin bought a ring and invited us to be there when he proposed. It was in a hotel in downtown Cincinnati and as they were walking through the lobby, Shelby's parents and Earl and I stepped out from behind some plants, and Justin got down on one knee and proposed. I was suppose to take pictures but through my tears my pictures came out blurry. It was a sweet romantic moment and Shelby was so surprised.

Here was my handsome grown son proposing marriage to the girl of his dreams and all I could think was that's my baby. My little tornado. My cute little brat. I admit I'd made him that way. I made him a brat because I had babied him so long. Still do. I kept thinking is Shelby going to take care of him like I do? Will she wash all his clothes and get him his favorite snacks? Will she love my son like he deserves to be loved?



Justin is a good guy. He is stubborn, opinionated and bossy, but he has a heart of gold. He works so hard - two jobs school. And he is smart, smarter then his dad and I like sometimes, when he tries to prove us wrong and he comes out right.  I'll miss him saying "Actually Mom.."

My baby is getting married and I love his fiancé. But I will lose him now, which is right and normal. But it can be hard on a mother of sons. Remember that ladies - that man you are marrying belonged to someone else before you came along. Be kind to his mother.

I said to Earl the other day, " we are almost done. Our youngest will be married and gone soon. Our house will be empty. What's Next?"

He smiled and shrugged. "Me and you baby."


Yeah that's what we thought.