Reversal

I peeked in on Mom this morning, and she was bundled up sleeping peacefully. I have two blankets on the bed, but she had kicked one off her feet so I covered her up, and touched her hair. I wondered how many times she had crept into my room in the mornings and covered me back up?  It is different for me to be the caretaker when she was the one who had taken care of me for so long.  How many times had she washed my face, my hands, my feet. Rubbed lotion on me and given me medicine? How many times did she feed me, cuddle me, kiss my head? Put drops in my eyes, cut my nails?

When you are thinking about having to do these things, before it becomes a necessity, you think that would be too hard, I don't think I could do it. But then you just do it. Without really thinking. It's something I learned from Mom.   She would say, "You have no choice, just do it Diane." So I did, and I thank God she taught me to be strong, to handle the pressures and worries without letting them bog me down. "Don't worry about what other people think, their opinions don't matter. Do your best. Serve God. Do the right thing."  Her words echo in my head at night when I'm wondering if I'm doing the best thing for her.  I know I can't be responsible for her happiness, but I can make sure she feels loved.  And that's all  I'm really trying for.